15 Reasons "Not Getting Laid" Happens To Some Men But Not Others
If you're reading this, y'all probably haven't had sex for a while.
And of class, you're probably tired of spanking your monkey all the time.
You lot came to the right identify, man.
Today you become 13 reasons why yous're not getting laid (+bonus).
And a lot of practical tips to get a woman in bed.
Here's what you go:
- five Benefits of having regular sex (you're missing out!)
- I tin't become laid: Most common reasons
- How to make the switch from being unattractive to being bonny
- Instance of witty lines to make sure you never run out of things to say
- The Trojan Equus caballus technique and why you lot should never use it
- The ultimate solution to start getting laid
- And a lot more…
By the mode, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll become my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
First, the bad news!
Research shows forbearance has a negative touch on your health…
…if yous're a fruit fly.
Not exactly our closest relative.
Merely if a fruit wing experiences negative furnishings because of sexual frustration, apparently nosotros humans practice too.
Regardless of that research, here are the advantages of making thick in her warm:
- It increases cocky-conviction.
- Regular sex repels the flu.
- It reduces stress.
- Making love reduces headaches.
- Information technology improves your sleep quality.
In curt: regular sex is skillful!
But how long tin can a man get without sex?
It depends on the man. Factors such as age, hormones, diet, genes, and health play a office.
What we do know is that ejaculation is non harmful. Some studies advise that regular ejaculation is expert for the prostate. Other studies say that cuming less oft improves sperm quality.
The truth is that you tin't put an exact number on the maximum time a man can go without sex activity.
Some guys tin can become years without getting laid, while others start to go broken-hearted after seven days.
When you start to feel sexually frustrated, then don't recall twice: information technology's fourth dimension to take activeness.
Your next question is probably:
"How do I start getting laid?!"
Before we go to that, we accept to answer the question:
"Why aren't y'all having sex?"
One possible reply is…
Reason #i: You're a spectator and not a player
This reason applies to 99% of men who never become laid, and then pay attention.
The evolution of technology in our society has brought a lot of benefits, but besides some downsides.
1 of them is that it'due south becoming easier and easier to step into the function of spectator.
With TV, social media, internet, games, porn, etc. you lot can spend your life watching how others do something.
Think virtually it:
- How much people lookout football game, instead of playing football themselves?
- How much people watch romantic comedies just never have romances?
- What about watching porn all the time instead of having sexual practice with cute women?
This may sound exaggerated, but the truth is that near people watch sport, Netflix, and porn but never participate in any of these activities.
This mindset ('watching' as opposed to 'participating') is a huge problem for many men. They run across beautiful ladies all the time, but how often practise they approach them?
Porn addiction in particular is a real issue.
I am not anti-porno, simply I am anti-passive.
And that'southward what porn does: It puts you lot in 'passive way.'
The most common reason guys never get laid is because they never accept activity.
Now, there are deeper causes that play a role. We'll talk about them shortly.
I'll as well give you tips on how to start taking action correct away. So let's keep going!
Reason #2: Y'all believe y'all don't deserve sex
Here'southward a hard truth:
Your beliefs always become your reality.
If you believe deep down that yous are not worthy of a beautiful woman, this will manifest itself in all kinds of micro-expressions.
- Y'all believe she won't laugh at your joke? That's why you're speaking too softly.
- Yous believe she'll never be interested? That'south why you lot don't talk to her.
- You believe y'all're non worthy of love? That's why you lot don't take action.
Information technology'south a hard truth, only there'due south something not bad about it: If you lot alter your behavior, so getting laid suddenly becomes piece of cake!
That's right: At AttractionGym we see success in honey and dating as a form of self-development.
Of class it's of import to acquire some lines and techniques, but in the cease your bewitchery is mainly adamant by who you ARE, not what you Practise.
That'due south why we teach men how to be authentically bonny, instead of faking attractiveness.
But you might enquire yourself: what's attractive?
The truth is in that location are specific things women find attractive in men.
To become a deeper understanding, check out this article:
>> vii Underrated Things Women Detect Extremely Attractive in Men
Reason #3: Your environment isn't helping
Here's a question for you:
"Do you know why my firm's always prissy and tidy?"
Because my environment shapes me.
For case, at work, where do you think you'll be more than productive?
In a bully environment with very few distractions? Or in a crowded function full of empty Starbucks cups?
Yous got it: In the make clean surround.
"That'due south cool, Dan. But how is this going to assist me get laid?"
Well, how often you get sexual activity is straight related to how productive y'all are with women.
You never get laid? Then your productivity is depression.
And if your productivity is depression, chances are it's because of your surround.
Many men get demotivated by their circle of friends when it comes to women.
For example:
Suppose your friends aren't the most women-friendly people in the world.
For case, they say stuff similar: "Pfff… women are so superficial. It'due south all most money, fame and looks."
If you hear these kinds of bullsh*t statements every twenty-four hours, you lot're going to kickoff believe them somewhen. And your motivation to get better with women is going to subtract equally a result.
Your friends aren't similar that?
Alright, let's take another example:
Let's suppose your friends all are in a relationship and spend more than time at domicile with their girlfriends than they do outside.
Is this going to brand y'all desire to get out to meet women?
I incertitude it.
A lot of our clients suffer from a unlike type of environment:
A group of party animals who always go out, but prefer to get super drunk rather than talk to girls.
That'south why our clients are so happy when they get to run across like-minded people.
If y'all bring together one of our Bootcamps, y'all'll bring together a group of enthusiastic men with the same goal:
Getting better with women.
A lot of our clients become friends and keep hanging out together after the Bootcamp.
That stimulating surround lone will make you more successful.
Reason #four: You don't know what to say
If yous ever spoke to a woman, I'm sure you're familiar with this awkward moment:
Y'all're chatting to a super cute girl and suddenly… you run out of things to talk about.
She looks at you, waiting for you to say something…
…but not a word comes out of your mouth.
You're out of ideas. So you commit a deadly sin:
Y'all say:
"And then what practise you do for a living?"
The light in her eyes disappears. The attraction she felt for yous is gone.
Now, that sucks. And trust me: Before I started getting better with women, it'd happen to me all the time.
Luckily, that changed.
Sure, of grade, sometimes there's a silence.
But I don't fill it upwardly compulsively with a boring question I don't even want to know the answer to.
So how do I keep the conversation going?
With ane of the many lines I've come up upward with over the years.
Here are three examples:
"Oh, you're an artist? Cool. Say someone is painting a portrait of you. What would yous choose as your background?"
"What's your favorite Pokémon?"
"If you accept to choose between dogs, cats, and republic of guinea pigs. Which one do you prefer to eat?"
I've tested these lines over the years, and they work like a amuse.
At present, if you don't feel comfortable using them, just yous however want to be able to spark awesome conversations, then check out this article:
>> What Should I Say to a Girl – 17 Best 'Tricks' to Spark Awesome Conversations
Reason #5: You're too nice with women
Warning: This is not a free laissez passer to go an asshole.
Nobody likes assholes.
Regardless of what some frustrated men say online:
In 99.984589% of the cases, women practise NOT fall for assholes.
Exist nice to girls.
But don't be too squeamish.
For example:
- Don't overload your Whatsapp conversations with compliments and emojis
- Don't purchase her a bunch of flowers if you just started dating
- Don't stay on the telephone with her for hours if you still accept piece of work to do.
Women don't fall for Mr. nice guys.
Why? Because they want a man who has the assurance to testify his intentions.
"What? I don't become it, Dan"
What I hateful is that if you find a daughter attractive and yous're flirting with her, yous're going to want to get her in bed.
You know it. She knows it.
And if you act like you don't want take sex with her (although yous practice), this is going to be a real turn-off for her.
Women are attracted to guys who show their intentions and embrace their sexuality.
Now, is this the only thing girls are attracted to? Of course not.
If you demand to know more than about what exactly makes women attracted to men, read this article:
>> What Makes Women Attracted to Men? 11 Irresistible Qualities
Reason #half dozen: How to have realistic standards
Standards are salubrious. They reflect cocky-esteem.
But what if no one tin meet your standards?
Ask yourself:
"Does my dream daughter fifty-fifty exist?"
There are women out there, hot as f*ck, who work out five days a week, never fume, have a PhD, read a lot of books, etc…
Merely if you combine that with other requirements, such as:
- Must earn at to the lowest degree ___ per month
- Must come up from a skillful family
- Must love exactly the same kind of movies
- Must like the aforementioned jokes I like
- Must be able to cook
etc…
…Then yous're dreaming. Because this woman doesn't exist.
Now, I'chiliad not saying yous should accept too low standards either.
It'due south good to take high standards, but at the aforementioned time: be realistic.
Pro tip:
Are all your standards based on appearance?
If that's the case, this should ring the alarm bell.
Cipher wrong with dating a girl if you detect her very attractive.
The second question y'all want to ask yourself is essential:
"Am I worthy of her?"
Now, listen, nobody's perfect.
Just can you meet your own standards?
If not, your standards are likewise high, homo.
For example, if you've had 3 partners in the 30 years you've been alive, it's crazy to wait meeting high quality girls correct away.
If that sounds familiar, your standards might exist too high.
And possibly that'southward why you can't get laid.
Reason #7: You're emotionally monotonous
This tip is for all those who received the post-obit message afterwards a date:
Thanks for this night. Only I didn't feel like going on. Lamentable.
What exercise you remember happened?
Chances are you lot were emotionally monotonous.
Emotional monotony ways:
- You speak monotonously
- Yous cover simply safe topics
- Yous inquire silly questions
- You lot human activity like an asexual robot.
In brusk: you're anticipated.
And one of the biggest turn-off for a adult female is…
Predictability.
Why?
Let'due south say y'all're watching a movie.
If you already know what's going to happen, y'all're going to lose interest and there's footling reason to keep watching it.
Same goes for interactions.
When information technology comes to women, predictability is the worst enemy of sexual tension.
No sexual tension = no sex.
And so, how do y'all create sexual tension?
You got it: by being unpredictable.
Hither are some tips:
- When you're speaking, endeavor varying intonations. Practice past reading a random sentence in unlike intonations: playful, nonchalant…
- Tell stories that stimulate her emotions. Imagine that yous're watching your own reality TV show. Ask yourself: "Does this story make me experience emotions, or am I falling asleep?"
- Talk virtually sexual activity as easily every bit you lot'd talk about the weather condition.
- Never ask questions that you lot don't want to know the answer to.
- Get physical at the correct moment.
Reason #8: The Trojan Horse technique
If you're a dainty guy simply you can't go laid, chances are you're behaving too negatively.
That sounds almost impossible: how tin can you exist prissy and negative at the same time?
The same way a Bounty tastes similar chocolate and coconut.
You have a negative core surrounded by a small layer of beloved.
Yes, pretty vague, I know. Let'southward accept a real-life example.
This is a message from a stereotypical overnice guy.
This is what the message really says:
"Damn, daughter. You've got really overnice titties!"
I call this the Trojan Horse Technique.
You pretend to be a cute piffling animal, but you're hiding something undesirable.
If y'all're hiding a lot of negativity, information technology could look like this:
This nice guy gives a girl a compliment, but his Trojan Horse is ignored.
Instead of moving on, he shows his truthful confront.
Here'due south an insight that all men should understand:
No matter how nice you are, a woman NEVER owes you lot annihilation for it.
Reason #ix: One of the worst symptoms of not getting laid
If you haven't slept with a woman in a long time, chances are you watch porn.
You probably watch porn several times a week, if not everyday.
What's wrong with watching porn?
A lot of things. Simply permit's focus on 1:
Porn becomes a substitute for the existent deal.
Your brain doesn't brand the difference between existent sex and porn.
When you lookout the latest Pornhub videos, your brain thinks y'all're copulating.
And it'll advantage you with a good portion of serotonin and dopamine. As if to say, "Well done, bro! You're doing your biological job!"
But nix is farther from the truth.
The truth is that you sit back in your office chair with your boxers around your ankles and a toilet gyre in your paw.
You can't become laid?
Then that'due south a sign you need to change.
Information technology might be your manner, your flirting skills, or the fact that yous never become out.
Whatever it takes to get girls, one thing'southward for sure:
Watching excessive porn isn't going to motivate you to get amend with women.
And the corporeality of time you spend without sexual activity keeps increasing.
Suppose you're addicted to porn. What do you practice?
Ask yourself:
"How beautiful would my life be a year from now if I started taking positive action?"
Now compare this situation with the side by side one:
"How sad would my life exist a twelvemonth from now if I stayed exactly the same as I am now?"
Meet the contrast? That'southward your fuel to take action.
Start working on yourself and improving your life.
You can already brand massive leaps by just tackling ten simple things.
Which ten things you lot enquire?
I covered information technology in an article, check this out:
>> ten Simple Things That Amend Your Life TODAY!
Reason #x: I tin can't get laid – The power of belief
Your beliefs dictate what you come across, what y'all do, who yous are, and as a issue: your success with girls.
Now, of course, not every belief is relevant.
For example, assertive in Santa Claus isn't going to help you meet women.
Only at that place are beliefs that prevent you from having sexual activity.
Allow's have a look at 1 of the most mutual:
"Decent women are rare.
Girls are hateful, too decorated, or have no interest in me."
The matter is: If that's what y'all remember, that's what you'll get.
A friend of mine has had bad experiences in the by with girls, and so he's convinced that nigh women 'suck'.
Because of this, when he meets a girl, he automatically focuses on the negative and ignore the positive.
Decent women aren't rare.
They're actually everywhere.
But you see what yous believe.
Do you tend to focus on bad things when it comes to girls?
So turn it around.
Make a witting effort to focus just on their positive aspects.
They might non be as bad as y'all offset thought.
"Merely Dan, you say decent women are everywhere, just where should I go to meet them ?"
That's a very good question. Read this article to find out:
>> 15 Hotspots to See Women Near You lot that Are 100% Your Blazon
Reason #12: What exercise you actually want
Alright, story fourth dimension:
A friend of mine downloaded Tinder because he wanted to get laid.
Somewhen he hooked upward with a beautiful daughter. They had a expert time, so they started to see each other once more.
After a few months he realized she was seeing another human being and he didn't like it.
So he told her he wanted a relationship. Turned out she wanted the same thing.
So the girl became his girlfriend.
After some time, things got nasty. They started fighting a lot. So he broke up with her.
Gauge what he did and so? He downloaded Tinder over again for a fiddling adventure.
The matter is my friend didn't know what he wanted. He said he just wanted to claw up just when it didn't feel right anymore, suddenly he wanted a human relationship.
And when he got himself a girlfriend, the relationship went to shyt in no time because it'southward not even what he wanted in the first time.
Then enquire yourself:
"What practise I really want?"
When you found out the reply, it's fourth dimension for you lot to take activity. Keep reading for more insights.
Reason #13: Encompass your masculinity
Fact: Immature men (between 18 and 21 years onetime) don't go a lot of success on Tinder.
Tin you lot guess why?
(Hint, the title gives away the answer.)
That's correct. They're non masculine enough. And most women are into masculine guys.
Practise yous know why mature men get a lot of attention from women?
Because life experience and masculinity are closely related.
A 50 years old friend mine get more women at present than never earlier.
(He'due south a personal trainer with a heavily trained body. Information technology helps.)
Anyway, the signal is: masculinity is sexy.
Then what'due south masculinity and how to be more masculine?
No, it's not just about having a large beard and working out obsessively.
Although both definitely assist, the near important attribute of exuding masculinity is having a mission.
You lot know who you are, what you want to achieve and don't give up until you have information technology.
You're always working on yourself, and your masculinity increases equally a result.
Now, you withal demand to learn how to flirt.
Which brings me to the next reason why you tin can't get laid.
Reason #14: You never go out of your condolement zone
I'm sure you saw on Instagram all the inspirational quotes telling you to go out of your condolement zone.
Well, I couldn't agree more.
And you know what? It's the only manner for yous to see women.
Now, I know setting new routines can exist hard.
That's why I have an easy footstep-by-step plan for you.
Offset of all, what should you look by leaving your comfort zone?
In brusque: Stress.
But it comes in 2 forms: salubrious and unhealthy.
How do you differentiate the two?
Well, if a certain activeness is so stressful that it paralyzes you, then it'due south unhealthy. Cut it out.
The best new routines feel challenging, but achievable.
Hither come 3 means to break out of your comfort zone:
- Do things differently everyday. Take a dissimilar road to work. Become vegan for a calendar week (or longer). Take cold showers. Talk to the supermarket cashier (with more than ii words.)
- Start pocket-size. Mayhap starting a new daily routine feels too much. Then choose one solar day of the calendar week where you're going to do something new. You desire to come across girls, correct? Then choose an activeness away from home. Become to a museum, for example, or sign upward for dance classes.
- Stick a unlike label on condolement. We like to fall dorsum into quondam habits because it feels prophylactic. But sticking to onetime habits means that you're not growing equally a person. Therefore, see excessive sitting in your comfort zone as failure.
Reason #xv: You don't know how to flirt
Let me tell you a little hugger-mugger.
If you don't know how to talk to women, then you're going to spend a lot of time without having sex.
That'southward the biting truth.
Of form, Tinder can help. Only yous can ruin a start Tinder appointment if the conversation is too irksome.
Whether you want to meet women through a dating app or in real life, one thing's for sure…
Knowing how to flirt isn't something you're born with. It's a skill you tin learn. Y'all can get better with women, regardless of your await and the car you drive.
Where exercise y'all start?
That'southward when things get interesting.
I created a toolkit to help you showtime dating right away.
It includes all of the best tips for making yourself an bonny man.
You become:
- The best opening lines to get her hooked
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Your bro,
Dan de Ram.
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Source: https://www.attractiongym.com/i-cant-get-laid/
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